so, God and mari teamed up to teach me a lesson today. while i was fixing lunch, the three kiddos had split up to terrorize the house more effectively. mari went for the boys’ bedroom and apparently she wanted privacy, so she shut the door behind her. moments later i hear a slightly muffled scream of desperation. not knowing whether she was screaming in pain or frustration, i ran to her rescue. unfortunately, she was sitting a few inches in front of the door, so i couldn’t open it very far. needless to say, she did not want to cooperate and crawl away from the door, so i had to stick my foot in to gently push her away. she was MAD at me until she realized that the door was now open and she was free to go. :o)
right before i drifted off into la-la-land for naptime, God reminded me of the situation and gently guided me to a realization. i’m on the wrong side of a door and i know that God is just on the other side. i try my hardest to open the door on my own. i DON’T want to step away from my hopes/dreams/goals. backing away is scary and it seems to be counter-productive. as soon as i realize that i cannot do it and i step back, let go and allow God to work, things are going to happen. God wants to direct me. i need to work on my listening skills and follow through no matter what the cost.