a year ago today i wrote this.
and i’m still waiting…for this promise.
730 days of knowing, seeking and constantly changing emotions. times of clarity and piles of doubts.
i’m going to be honest with you. today was rough (even after a pint of ben & jerry’s). patience is wearing thin as i tire of the waiting process. bitterness about the whole situation is creeping in as i realized the other day that i wish i didn’t have the promise at all. frustration about the unwanted bitterness adds to the daily battle to keep trusting in God’s faithfulness.
my birthday is coming in a couple weeks. mixed emotions overwhelm me as i think about where i figured i would be at this point in my life. i never imagined i would still be single when i turned 26.
i don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but i dread it. i don’t want to fight the doubts or my emotions any longer. desperate words begging God for a vacation from everything will be on my lips tonight as the tears quietly slide off my face onto my pillow.
please pray that these words invade the storm and bring clarity and peace.