as each day ends, a judgement is made. i weigh my actions, attitudes and accomplishments as i lay down for the night. more often than not i fall terribly short. my performance-based outlook distances me from God. ashamed of how things went and how little i interacted with Him, i keep that distance because i haven’t held up my end of the relationship.
i still don’t quite grasp the meaning of grace.
last night i asked for prayer regarding this ongoing struggle and i received a new perspective through truth about another friendship i have.
my best friend talia lives on the other side of the world. this gives me a great excuse to travel, but the majority of the time i don’t like it. i miss her. communication was much easier when we shared a bunk bed. facebook, e-mail, phone calls and old fashioned snail-mail help, but i am not always consistent or purposeful about keeping in contact. in fact, i don’t think i have ever sent talia a letter.
the next time talia comes to visit, will i avoid her because of my communication issues? no way! if at all possible, i will be at the airport with huge embarrassing signs to welcome her.
why should my relationship with God be any different?
it’s a relationship. not a to-do list.