a long awaited conversation.

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the moment of anticipation peaks as you hug a friend for the first time in a long time.  all of the stories and memories of things that you haven’t discussed yet are barely being held back.  even though the opportunity has arrived, you hesitate and wonder where to begin.  this is how i feel today in regards to even beginning to write this post.

God is constantly reminding me of the power of words.  in this season of seeking healing and learning about forgiveness, He is showing me that it will come through this gift that He has given to me…the ability to write.  most of the time my jumbled thoughts and emotions start out with a negative twinge and i can feel the struggle as the words cause clarity…but as i see it plainly on the page, the white area is a much bigger mass than the black markings i have made.  in between each letter there is space for hope to shine through.

i don’t like that Christmas is next week.  as harsh as that may sound, i wish that time was flowing like a jubilant sleigh ride through soft fluffy snow instead of the intense treadmill that i feel like i’m clinging to.  Christmas has so much depth that i hate to miss and there is just so much going on.

last week was a horrific news week and the depravity of this earth grieved my heart in a new way.  both shooting incidents, one here in clackamas and the other in connecticut, reminded me of the heartbreak that i am still walking through with my loss.  but i learned something new…my heart is starting to break for the severely broken.  i ache for the people who have been marinated in lies and confusion to the point of destruction.  forgiveness is a challenging path to walk, but God has my hand and is showing me the way.

after all…didn’t Jesus come to forgive?

don’t let the craziness of the world and this season pull you away from this incredible gift.  offer it to others and yourself freely…it will far surpass any present that can fit under the tree.

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