thirty four days.

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thirty four days.  i can barely hold my excitement in.  get me talking about Belize, my YWAM family or the ministry that lies ahead and my heart starts gushing.  this adventure has been my dream for the past two years.  it’s hard to believe it is actually happening.

thirty four days.  not a lot of time left and so much to do.  pressures of to do lists and feeling responsible to my work and customers weigh me down.  time is spent packing up my life here in boxes and letting go of the stuff filling my space.  

thirty four days.  i put on my game face and start to take on the lists, the e-mails and the random errands that must be taken care of.  i can not slow down.  

the roller coaster ride has already begun.  the thrill, anticipation and breathtaking twists and turns are fun to share with you.  the joy i have in knowing that this is where God is leading me is priceless.  like most journeys though, it has it’s ups and downs.

stepping out means saying goodbye.  the excitement is much easier to share than the quiet moments of tearful realization of the people i will miss.  i vividly remember the last time i left for Belize, my stomach and heart were so tied up in knots…eagerly anticipating the beautiful new season while feeling the sharp stings of moving away from the family and friends i love so deeply.  the time i spent sitting in the airport after saying goodbye and before boarding the plane was excruciating.  the tug of war over my heart was indescribable that day.

thirty four days.  the tug of war game has already begun.

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